Insomnia, again

3 AM and I'm wide awake. The apartment is so quiet I can hear the fridge humming. I've been lying here for hours thinking about all the things I should have said and all the things I shouldn't have. My therapist says I need to stop replaying conversations in my head. Easy for her to say. She doesn't have my brain. I got up and made chamomile tea. The city is beautiful at this hour — all the lights on but nobody home. I feel like that sometimes.